iris independent

So. Friend Ann and I were venting about the douchebaggery happening with the men around us as of late. They are stories of no consequence because we knew these weren’t guys with whom we’d actually want to spend a significant amount of time.

This conversation led to a bigger question:

Who do we want to spend our time with? What qualities does a person have to have to be really considered?

Yes, the person betta treat a sista right, but the qualities should be stand-alone. Representative of a person in or out of a relationship.

For me, the qualities can be divided into three “buckets” - all of equal importance. All qualities which point a person in a certain direction in life.

Progressivism:
This encompasses not only political leanings, but also activism and involvement. A person who appreciates and considers tradition, but doesn’t rely on it. A forward-thinker and critical reasoner.

Intellectualism:

This includes appreciation of reading, language, food, and travel. All are indicators of not only mental capabilities, but of a person who seeks out opportunities to simply know more.

Also, an interesting facet of this bucket is the question of the level of intellect a person prefers. I want a partner to be smarter than I am, but not too much smarter. A challenger, but not a dwarfer. Tres typical? Probs.

Music Appreciation:

This could be grouped into the intellectualism bucket, but is standing alone because if a person is on the same level in terms of music, they’re often on the same level emotionally. AKA: If a person gets my music, they get me.

A person’s three buckets - like mine - represent who she is and who she hopes to be. Does a person have to have all three? Would I be less fulfilled if only two of the three were present? Ann, speaking from her own experience, says: yes, m’aam. Thoughts?

What are your three buckets?